It was there in countless movies and TV shows. The down-on-his-luck guy craning his neck as that sure thing was about to make him a winner at the racetrack. Of course, as the plotline had to go, that horse slowed down/was edged out/somehow came up lame, and the poor guy just tore up his ticket and went on his sad way. While I prefer to think of myself as a lucky guy, there was always a yearning for me to test my betting prowess and see if I could wager a few bucks and cash out some winnings. So in 2003 it was off to the Belmont Stakes to see if Funny Cide could break the Triple Crown curse and make me a few bucks. History shows mine was the bad choice to take the favorite as the 100,000 fans groaned in unison when the gelding faded in the backstretch. So there I was, sans fedora hat and cigar of a 50’s b-movie, tearing up the betting slip—my left hand letting loose confetti and my right disgustedly tossing down the remaining paper. While amusingly overdramatic, what I didn’t realize was that this act would later have a name: to pull a Pelosi.
Decades, maybe multiple generations, have passed since something meaningful has come from the annual State of the Union speech. Like the upcoming Oscars, but without the killer watch parties, this ritual has become a prime time festival for political geeks and wearers of red ties. So tired is the script that we can barely look up to watch. The sergeant-at-arms wails, “Mr./Madam Speaker, the President of the United States.” Applause bursts forth, otherwise unseen Congressmen stick their hand out for their one shot at a handshake, and the President ambles to the podium. For an hour or so the President drones on while his party leaps to their feet in applause every 20 seconds like a CrossFit air squat exercise. The opposing party, in well-rehearsed inertia, sits quietly with their hands folded as if to telegraph that they are the adults trying to tame a teen kegger.
And then there was this week.
Our current President redefined the phrase “taking a victory lap” during Tuesday’s speech. Utterly ignoring the blood sport of impeachment proceedings, he tried out his upcoming renomination acceptance speech by out-Oprahing Oprah. You get a medal! You get a charter school seat! You get your husband back from military deployment! It was true theater. Maybe theater of the absurd, but nobody could say it wasn’t good TV. For background, the Democratic women put on their white dresses again, but this year they looked more like bored Catholic high school seniors at graduation counting down the seconds before they could leave.
The winner of non-conformity was Speaker Nancy Pelosi. She didn’t buck tradition, she literally shredded it. It’s always been an odd sight over the years—the Speaker sitting stone-faced behind the President, occasionally applauding to keep themselves awake more than caring about the proceedings. Nancy was having none of this with a fusillade of smirking, shaking her head, and absent-mindedly leafing through the speech’s text. It was what a four year-old at the adults’ table would look like if they were constitutionally in line to Presidential succession. At the end of all, instead of throwing pumpkin pie around, she dramatically tore up a copy of the President’s speech. Of course any millennial streaming the event on their phone would wonder why there was any paper involved, so perhaps her gesture was all in vain.
While any semblance of decorum in Washington has now been shattered, all hope is not lost. Travelling Tuesday in New England, I surfed the channels to see how the media covered this travesty. The powerful Boston channels were focused and to the point in their “breaking news” headlines—Red Sox star Mookie Betts was getting traded to the Dodgers. That’s right, the state of our union depends on the outfield this season.
© 2020 Alexander W. Stephens, All Rights Reserved.
